Muttley says, always be sure to use the right tool for the job! Use ----get Iexplore 5.0 beta NOW! OR ----Update your Netscape but NOT! ----check this out, it's a good read. This site looks like shit with the AOL browser!

Well, I finally managed to get most of it to work. Yay! Ok, so, since this is the shrine to all things Muttley, I think I should begin by asking forgiveness from Hanna-Barbera and Co. for the use of their image without permission. However : I was named Muttley because of the way I laugh, and so I could countersue for likeness rights. And don't you forget it, you corporate swine.

Ok, so you want to know a little more about Muttley, eh? And you say you want to know about a person who insists on being called a dog's name, instead of that of a person, huh? Wow. You are strange. Ok. Where to begin? I guess, first of all I have to explain why I'm called Muttley. Ever since I was young (and yes, I do remember it, you bastards!) I have laughed like the cartoon character Muttley, from the Wacky Racers cartoon. (Unless you were using the AOL (piece of garbage) browser, you heard the laugh when you logged in here.) Someone put two and two together, and decided to call me that. Since then, I've moved all around the country, and at one point or another, one of my friends from back home would "enlighten" one of my new friends about my nickname, and it would just go on from there. So, why fight it? But that's not what you really want to know, is it. Hmm. Ok, we'll my real name is Michael Simone, and some people still insist on calling me that, even though I have yet to meet anyone who pronounces it right straight out of the box. I'm an investment banker, specializing in the securitization of mortgage loans. No, I do not do retail loans, so don't even ask me to refinance your house. When I'm not working, I try to spend as much time with my friends as possible, but since most of them are in New Orleans, I tend to just chat with them on the net. (Otherwise, my phone bill would arrive in a large box via UPS, and Brinks would come around to pick up the check.) I love living in Southern Mississippi, with our beaches, our beautiful weather, our beaches, our casinos, our beaches, the wonderful people, our beaches, our newly booming economy, and our beaches. (Well, lots of bikini-clad women go to the beach. Who am I to argue, yes?) I'm a bit of an 80s buff. No, that's not right. I think it would be better phrased to say that I'm permanently trapped in the 80s. I love the music, the clothes, the styles, the conspicuous consumption of wealth, the unbridled greed, the get ahead by any means creedo. I am still pissed off that they changed the rules before I was old enough to play. I spent my whole life training to be a corporate pig, and when I managed to get there, the "in" thing to do was to feel guilty that you're earning money, and getting ahead, when there's so much suffering in the world. Not to sound like Scrooge, but PUH-LEEZE! Didn't we get all this hippie crap out of our systems in the 70s? I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables, and I have no intention of letting my education, ambition, and drive go to waste because someone thought that it would be interesting to see what it would be like to revive the 70s. Remember - in the land of the unassertive, the agressive man is king. As you can tell, I'm kind of prone to babble. That may not be the right word. Many of my friends accuse me of having gills, so that I don't have to actually stop talking to breathe. So be it. At least nobody can accuse me of being uncommunicative. There's so much more. However, to write it all down would not only bore the bejeezus out of you, but it would make this page take about 4 hours to download. So, if you want to find out more about me, hit the e-mail icon at the bottom. Sooner or later, I'll have my old column posted here for your reading enjoyment (just as soon as hell freezes over, I think), but until then, I guess you'll have to settle for requesting it from me.

The file place. This is not up and running yet, so don't click here. You'll just get an error message.

This page has been visited times.

My ICQ status is: Click on my status to send me a note!

Ok, you have no idea how long it took me to get the f*****g links page to work, so it would do my heart good if you went and checked it out. Ok, I've given up on the quicktime file, because once I finally got it working, I found out that it makes my page take 5 minutes do download. So, if you're hoping for the Muttley quicktime, well, you can get it when I get the files page up and running. Have a site you'd like to see on my links? Have any interesting files that you want available to everyone? Then - [email protected]